How do I stop the music?

Music usually soothes me, but not lately.

What was once my medicine has become my poison.

The only songs I write anymore are sad ones.

I don’t want to write the lyrics, yet they come to mind.

Sometimes I can force them away.

Other times, I write them down through eyes blurred by tears.

Today, while I was at the grocery store, I felt such sadness over hearing music through the speakers, I had to fight crying.

I want the pain to stop, but I am not feeling hopeful that it will.

While driving home, I saw a semi headed towards me.  I was alone in my little car.  I thought, as I’ve thought many times before, about how easy it would be to drive head-on into that semi.  I would die instantly.  The semi would be left with minor damage.

The only thing keeping me alive is the thought that my children might suffer if I am not around.

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One thought on “How do I stop the music?

  1. Pingback: Shut down | Holy Sheepdip!

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