Unspoken Words of Passive Aggression

Because you loved me so much that you gladly did everything for me, I took full advantage of that.

Yes, I realize it became burdensome after awhile, when you carried more children in your womb and still had to work full time, but my expectations were set in place, and  woe unto you if you don’t continue at that impossible pace, because I am the king of your life, now that I own you as your husband.

Yes, I do believe that.

I believe you are trapped and won’t even try to leave me.

You’ve been through divorce before and you don’t want to go through starting over again on your own.

What do you mean you don’t feel it is fair for me to lie around all day while you work?

Hey, I work too, and my job is more important than yours.  I work manual labor, and if I don’t get enough rest, I could have an accident on the job.

Come on, don’t be silly – YOU don’t need sleep as much as I do.  Your job is right here at home.

So you’re stressed to the max.

So you’ve ended up with adrenal burnout and further stress could easily push you into more life-threatening illness.

So you make mistakes in the medical reports you type.

So they will terminate your contract if you have too many errors.

So we won’t be able to pay our bills.

All that matters is that I get to spend 10+ hours in bed, and that any hours I’m not at work I am to be on the couch with my mistress — the TV — flicking the remote at her when she doesn’t do what I want.

If you can’t survive on six to seven hours in bed, that’s not my problem.

It’s not my responsibility to help with the household chores when you are working on your paying job.  You can stay up a few more hours to complete them.  It’s not killed you yet.

I help once in awhile.  So what if it’s not consistent?  I expect you to do everything, remember?

Oh, I’ll never speak of this to you.  I know you are sensitive enough and smart enough to interpret it without me having to say a word.

And if you even try to “work things out”, I will pull a pout, make immature and unreasonable comments, and storm off, leaving you feeling worse than you felt before you dared to upset my perfect world.

What?  Someone else might win your affection?  As long as you stay here and take care of me, that doesn’t bother me.

What?  You might not always stay here?

Well, when that happens, I will believe it, my heart will be broken, I will mourn the loss of the most excellent woman to have ever entered my life, and I will feel that life is as futile as you must feel it is right now.

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4 thoughts on “Unspoken Words of Passive Aggression

  1. I’m having a little trouble with this one. I don’t know whether to think the person is a victim of mental cruelty or someone in deep self-pity who is mentally building their case. I have seen both and, sadly, one is just as real to the sufferer as the other. Either way, it is an attention grabbing bit of writing. Keep on the sunny side!

    • AuthorJim, it is based on personal experience of being on the receiving end of such attitude, trying to put myself sarcastically into their shoes in an attempt to pacify myself.

      • Steeny Lou, I regret that, when I made this comment, I hadn’t read enough of your blog to understand that the person would likely be you. Please forgive me for being so insensitive. Here is something that came to me in an email that may be helpful.
        I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ‘This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.

        I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

        Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

        The angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.” I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged
        for delivery to Earth.

        Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Acknowledgment Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.
        “How is it that there is no work going on here? I asked.”

        “So sad,” the angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.”

        “How does one acknowledge God’s blessings? “I asked.

        “Simple,” the angel answered. Just say, “Thank you, Lord.”

        “What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked.

        “If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world.
        If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy, and if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”

        “If you woke up this morning with more health than illness.. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.”

        “If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation… You are ahead of 700 million people in the world.”

        “If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.”

        “If your parents are still alive and still married…. you are very rare.”

        “If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair…….”

        “Ok,” I said. “What now? How can I start?”

        The Angel said, “If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.”

        Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are……….

        ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
        “Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it.”

        If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on?
        I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends.

      • I am grateful for a lot of things, AuthorJim, and I do thank God.

        I also feel the negative feelings I feel, and sometimes I write about them in an attempt to alleviate them.

        Fellow WordPress blogger, @KellyHartland (not sure my attempt to tag her will work in WordPress) sums up how I feel:

        “If you silence and suppress

        emotional pain,

        you will also silence and suppress

        joy and happiness.”

        (from here: http://kellyhartland.wordpress.com/2013/01/22/shut-down-2/)

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