You Make Me Happy When You Smile

“You make me happy when you smile.”

That is what my 12-year-old son, CWL, said to me just now.

Those are the sweetest words that have been said to me in a long time.

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And Can It Be…?

Such a beautiful hymn, set to beautiful scenes of God’s creation, gently spurs me all the more onward to heaven where neither thorn, nor darkness, nor impending death can ever detract from the eternal enjoyment of fellowship as it was meant to be in all its perfection.

Watch and listen: And Can It Be?

And Can It Be?

Text: Charles Wesley, 1707-1788 

Music: Thomas Campbell 

1. And can it be that I should gain 
an interest in the Savior’s blood! 
Died he for me? who caused his pain! 
For me? who him to death pursued? 
Amazing love! How can it be 
that thou, my God, shouldst die for me? 
Amazing love! How can it be 
that thou, my God, shouldst die for me? 

2. ‘Tis mystery all: th’ Immortal dies! 
Who can explore his strange design? 
In vain the firstborn seraph tries 
to sound the depths of love divine. 
‘Tis mercy all! Let earth adore; 
let angel minds inquire no more. 
‘Tis mercy all! Let earth adore; 
let angel minds inquire no more. 

3. He left his Father’s throne above 
(so free, so infinite his grace!), 
emptied himself of all but love, 
and bled for Adam’s helpless race. 
‘Tis mercy all, immense and free, 
for O my God, it found out me! 
‘Tis mercy all, immense and free, 
for O my God, it found out me! 

4. Long my imprisoned spirit lay, 
fast bound in sin and nature’s night; 
thine eye diffused a quickening ray; 
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; 
my chains fell off, my heart was free, 
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free, 
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.

5. No condemnation now I dread; 
Jesus, and all in him, is mine; 
alive in him, my living Head, 
and clothed in righteousness divine, 
bold I approach th’ eternal throne, 
and claim the crown, through Christ my own. 
Bold I approach th’ eternal throne, 
and claim the crown, through Christ my own. 

Sun, Rain, and God

​I was trying to find the Bible passage that talks about the sun shining and the rain falling on the just and the unjust, when suddenly I heard rain out my open bedroom door, while the sun continued to shine. How fitting. (See the little video clip I made.)

I can’t state for sure that it is any of these things, but it felt to me like a gentle hug from God, a hint of His interest in me, a reminder of how real He is, and a foretaste of the communication I will enjoy with Him when in His visible presence I will see His face and hear His voice.

I found the verse, in Matthew 5:45.

“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”

Gratitude is not always easy

me and charlie
Today I am grateful for:

1.  The colourful hat I have on my head.  It was left here by my third daughter, who had borrowed it from my first daughter.  My first daughter is in long-term rehab and I miss her.  Wearing her hat warms my head and my heart with thoughts of her.

2.  Tears that are flowing from my eyes while I write, to help wash out a smidgen of the pain I have been enduring of late.

3.  Having heard from a friend with whom I had once thought I had lost touch forever, but from whom I now occasionally hear, and he even subscribed to my blog.  (Hola, Señor Heelez).

4.  The sip of Zevia ginger rootbeer that was just brought to me by my eight-year-old son.  He said, “Here’s some fresh Zevia that I just opened.  It’s fresh.”

5.  The smell of lentils and barley cooking in the kitchen, to which I am about to add carrots, onions, garlic, celery, and chopped ham.

And an extra mention of gratitutde to the blogger at Inspirationenergy, who inadvertently prompted me to write this — Inspirationenergy’s Gratitude Page.

Picture 7 (3)-1

me and charlie2 me and charlie3

For more gratitutdes, check out:  my Gratitudes category.

Today’s Twisted Gratitudes

Today I am grateful for:

1.  The dryer in my laundry room, which not only dries our laundry, but today it performed the job of masking the sobs that wrenched from my beaten down heart so the rest of my family didn’t have to hear me cry.
2.  Long sleeves on my shirts to wipe my tears.
3.  Supportive friends in the groups for highly sensitive people where I find a bit of solace.
4.  This blog, where I can let a little bit of my pain bleed out.
5.  My faith that heaven is my final destination.

Come, Lord Jesus.  Quickly.  Please.

Today I’m grateful for… um… hmm… uh….

Today I’m grateful for… wait… just a sec… I’ll think of something…. man, this isn’t always easy.

1.  I do have a roof over my head.
2.  The snow is starting to melt here in my beautiful part of British Columbia.
3.  Black snow on the side of the highway, in all its ugly glory, means spring is on the way.
4.  My long camouflage skirt from the thrift store.
5.  I have edible food in my kitchen.

I really do have a lot more than my tired eyes are willing to see.  Thank You, Lord, for making a way.

IMG_0584

A couple hours from home, January 11, 2011. Our roads are melted a lot more now.

Today’s Gratitudes

  1. The sun is shining.
  2.  My two youngest kids are out at a children’s program with our behavior interventionist, where they are having fun, burning off energy, and I get a bit of quiet time to work.
  3. I have an excellent friend in Toronto with whom I have been having good conversation, and he is truly like a brother to me.  He’s one of the few in-person friends I have (he used to live in BC, and we have been to each other’s homes)  who has stuck with me through thick and thin.  Bro, if you’re reading this, you already know how grateful I am for you, but here you can see it again.  (And if anyone else is reading this, please don’t get the wrong impression.  This is truly a brother-sister kind of friendship and he also knows my husband.  I could write a whole blog entry on how much I thank God for this friend, and maybe I will someday.)
  4. The microwave oven we ordered to replace the one that blew up last week is waiting to be picked up at the Sears pickup store.
  5. My oldest daughter, who is in long-term rehab, is finally allowed to receive and write letters.  I am doing the Snoopy dance on the inside, even though I am still exhausted from adrenal burnout.

The Little Things

So tired, as always with this adrenal burnout, I had to go to the couch and crash this afternoon.

I fell asleep to the sound of my eighteen-year-old daughter folding towels and sheets on the floor nearby.

I woke up twenty minutes later to see neatly folded piles of clean laundry in baskets by the couch.

I nearly cried with gratefulness.

She seldom does such things.

As grateful as I am for the good little things in my life, so oppositely overwhelmed am I by the numerous bad little things.

Too many little bad things piled up together look like a big bad thing.

In the face of the mountain of bad things, the good things look so awesomely wonderful.

Although probably not what it is intended to mean, I suddenly think of Newton’s law of motion:  “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”