Scared Of It All

Robert Service says it well in his poem “I’m Scared Of It All”. For me, it is not so much a true fear, but it is more of a severe preference for avoiding the physical presence of much people while in this body on earth.

I’m scared of it all, God’s truth! so I am; 
It’s too big and brutal for me. 
My nerve’s on the raw and I don’t give a damn 
For all the “hoorah” that I see. 
I’m pinned between subway and overhead train, 
Where automobillies swoop down: 
Oh, I want to go back to the timber again — 
I’m scared of the terrible town. 

I want to go back to my lean, ashen plains; 
My rivers that flash into foam; 
My ultimate valleys where solitude reigns; 
My trail from Fort Churchill to Nome. 
My forests packed full of mysterious gloom, 
My ice-fields agrind and aglare: 
The city is deadfalled with danger and doom — 
I know that I’m safer up there. 

I watch the wan faces that flash in the street; 
All kinds and all classes I see. 
Yet never a one in the million I meet, 
Has the smile of a comrade for me. 
Just jaded and panting like dogs in a pack; 
Just tensed and intent on the goal: 
O God! but I’m lonesome — I wish I was back, 
Up there in the land of the Pole. 

I wish I was back on the Hunger Plateaus, 
And seeking the lost caribou; 
I wish I was up where the Coppermine flows 
To the kick of my little canoe. 
I’d like to be far on some weariful shore, 
In the Land of the Blizzard and Bear; 
Oh, I wish I was snug in the Arctic once more, 
For I know I am safer up there! 

I prowl in the canyons of dismal unrest; 
I cringe — I’m so weak and so small. 
I can’t get my bearings, I’m crushed and oppressed 
With the haste and the waste of it all. 
The slaves and the madman, the lust and the sweat, 
The fear in the faces I see; 
The getting, the spending, the fever, the fret — 
It’s too bleeding cruel for me. 

I feel it’s all wrong, but I can’t tell you why — 
The palace, the hovel next door; 
The insolent towers that sprawl to the sky, 
The crush and the rush and the roar. 
I’m trapped like a fox and I fear for my pelt; 
I cower in the crash and the glare; 
Oh, I want to be back in the avalanche belt, 
For I know that it’s safer up there! 

I’m scared of it all: Oh, afar I can hear 
The voice of my solitudes call! 
We’re nothing but brute with a little veneer, 
And nature is best after all. 
There’s tumult and terror abroad in the street; 
There’s menace and doom in the air; 
I’ve got to get back to my thousand-mile beat; 
The trail where the cougar and silver-tip meet; 
The snows and the camp-fire, with wolves at my feet;
Good-bye, for it’s safer up there. 

To be forming good habits up there; 
To be starving on rabbits up there; 
In your hunger and woe, 
Though it’s sixty below, 
Oh, I know that it’s safer up there!

by Robert William Service

http://m.poemhunter.com/poem/i-m-scared-of-it-all/

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Frustration With Facebook

One of the most frustrating things about Facebook is the way so many people on my contact list go to it for a quick read and a quick click of the “like” button, but very few offer any written feedback and there is little to no communication.

When I deactivate my Facebook account, the absence of its accessibility is refreshing. I am then not tempted to click to open it and see if anyone is initiating conversation. I can’t be disappointed if it’s not there for people to ignore.

I am better off writing here in WordPress, where it is already expected, at least for me, that there will be little to no communication.

Scrawling About God

Sometimes I feel like going out to my incomplete writing shed, taking a pen and notebook, and writing in big scrawling letters about how much I love God, obliterating the thoughts of how frustrated I am with everything else in the world.

Yes, focusing on my love for Him, and what I know from His Word about His love for me, throwing in some imagination and inferences about how heaven is going to be, is what I need to do, and perhaps I will find that for those few moments, nothing else will matter.

If I could do it in crayon on large sheets of newsprint, all the better.

But then…

“Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.” *

*Taken from Frederick M. Lehman’s “The Love Of God”
(Of note, “scrawling” is not considered a proper word. Right now, I do not care.)

Sun, Rain, and God

​I was trying to find the Bible passage that talks about the sun shining and the rain falling on the just and the unjust, when suddenly I heard rain out my open bedroom door, while the sun continued to shine. How fitting. (See the little video clip I made.)

I can’t state for sure that it is any of these things, but it felt to me like a gentle hug from God, a hint of His interest in me, a reminder of how real He is, and a foretaste of the communication I will enjoy with Him when in His visible presence I will see His face and hear His voice.

I found the verse, in Matthew 5:45.

“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”

Not Made for This World

CS Lewis wrote in “Mere Christianity” about the desires we have that cannot be satisfied, which led him to conclude we are not made for this world.

How science has discovered that our brains only function on a small percentage of their full capacity is a mystery to me, but if that science is correct, I wonder if the remaining potential is symbolic of something new and far superior that will be formed after we are dust scattered throughout more dust, becoming nothing so we may be recreated from scratch as a new home for the spirit that has experienced so much frustration and imperfection, and because of that experience, we will rejoice endlessly in that which is perfect.

I believe the Bible. Science, via the brains of man, has proven in various ways what was written millennia ago in it – things that were once mocked have now become evident by studies, as progress has permitted. The world is, after all, truly round.

Oh, to have all the answers in plain view, wherein I can look and see that my heartaches, doubts, and questions have full and satisfying solutions.

Meanwhile, until I see plainly and not through a glass darkly, platitudes, guesses, and excuses will be poured upon me. Sometimes they burn, sometimes they soothe, but never do they consume nor fulfill.

Acclaim, accomplishments, riches, plans, material, dreams, losses, condolences – none of it matters. If you find something that makes you happy, if it is in this world, it will end, except for one thing: love.

But love is better than anything merely of this world. Love is of GOD.

“Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.”

All is vanity, but only without God is there no hope.

Love lasts forever. And it is to note that the Bible tells us God is love. That which exists in God is that which is not vain.

What I see in this life is meaningless compared to that which I will see in the presence of my Lord, when everything is viewed in the literal light of His love. To see His face and be endlessly with those who love Him as I do, for that do I now breathe.

If not for the pain that too often overwhelms me, I might have no desire for that better place.

Still, I do not want the pain.

I was not made for this world.

Hearing About God

I love hearing about God from others who love Him. Sure, some “know” Him, but it is different hearing words from those who love Him.

It is more than Theology I seek. It is all of God – not just studying Him, but I crave an immersion in Him. His Word, I read it, devour it, and ruminate on it. I discover things I want to unravel. I query others who might have nuggets about certain passages. Right now I am rereading in Ecclesiastes. I need to know more about the author, the setting, the culture at the time, and what all else, I do not even know.

I am dying to be with Jesus. (Worded that way very much on purpose.)

Dying to Be With You

​As Brennan Manning said, “The Crucified Jesus says: ‘I am dying to be with you.  I am really dying to be with you.'”

How beautiful. How amazing! I don’t go on Brennan Manning’s or anyone else’s words, but I know that when they line up with God’s Word, they are true. 

When I think upon the reality of it, I am moved to tears. Jesus died to be with me. And I am so glad He did not stay dead.

This world is NOT my home.

(Thank You, Lord. Collect these tears – they are all I can give You. They speak of my love for You in words I do not have.)

An Example of Contextual Study: Psalm 37:4

The only part with which I disagree is the ending, where the author congratulates the reader for reading a boring blog post. It is not boring to me.

Stephen Warner's Blog

One of the most beneficial things I’ve learned in bible college is how important it is to treat each book of the Bible as an individual work of literature, instead of just picking out individual verses and using them to our advantage. If we pick out words or verses and separate them from their surrounding context, it can be very easy to misunderstand the true meaning of what is being said.

It’s the same way with life in general. If two friends are sitting in a room talking about Lebron James’ best dunks from the night before, you might hear someone say, “He’s sick!” But what does the word sick really mean here? Are they saying Lebron has come down with the flu? Or are they maybe saying that Lebron has some kind of mental disorder and has a “sick” mind?

No! They’re saying he’s a sick basketball player (i.e…

View original post 1,352 more words

An Example of Contextual Study: Psalm 37:4

The only part with which I disagree is the ending, where the author congratulates the reader for reading a boring blog post. It is not boring to me.

Stephen Warner's Blog

One of the most beneficial things I’ve learned in bible college is how important it is to treat each book of the Bible as an individual work of literature, instead of just picking out individual verses and using them to our advantage. If we pick out words or verses and separate them from their surrounding context, it can be very easy to misunderstand the true meaning of what is being said.

It’s the same way with life in general. If two friends are sitting in a room talking about Lebron James’ best dunks from the night before, you might hear someone say, “He’s sick!” But what does the word sick really mean here? Are they saying Lebron has come down with the flu? Or are they maybe saying that Lebron has some kind of mental disorder and has a “sick” mind?

No! They’re saying he’s a sick basketball player (i.e…

View original post 1,352 more words

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