Mummer’s Dance – by Loreena McKennitt

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(This post was originally written in my secret blog on January 1, 2013, but I wasn’t ready to share it at the time).

I heard this for the first time just now, in the background of a video called “The Wounded Healer”, about which I read in this thread on a fb group called Highly Sensitive Souls:

http://www.facebook.com/groups/highlysensitives/permalink/10151224146327153/?comment_id=10151224151837153&notif_t=like

It is the first song to which I have been able to listen without feeling agony, in the past week or two… I don’t know how long. I’ve lost track of days. I am enveloped in darkness.

I do not feel happy. The whole tone of this song somehow fits as background music for the way I feel inside. Not the lyrics – just the sound.

I assume the lyrics to be something pagan, but I am putting my own meaning to them as MY Lord is THE Lord, and HE is the creator of all the things about which the song sings. I do not partake of pagan things, but rather I appreciate that which God has created.

Music and Lyrics by Loreena McKennitt

When in the Springtime of the year
When the trees are crowned with leaves
When the ash and oak, and the birch and yew
Are dressed in ribbons fair

When owls call the breathless moon
In the blue veil of the night
The shadows of the trees appear
Amidst the lantern light

Chorus:
We’ve been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again
We bring a garland gay

Who will go down to those shady groves
And summon the shadows there
And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms
In the springtime of the year

The songs of birds seem to fill the wood
That when the fiddler plays
All their voices can be heard
Long past their woodland days

Chorus:
We’ve been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again
We bring a garland gay

And so they linked their hands and danced
Round in circles and in rows
And so the journey of the night descends
When all the shades are gone

“A garland gay we bring you here
And at your door we stand
It is a sprout well budded out
The work of Our Lord’s hand”

Chorus:
We’ve been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again
We bring a garland gay

Chorus:
We’ve been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again

Eau De Parfum

I pulled out my list as I walked into the grocery store.

Suddenly, there in the produce section, I smelled a most beautiful perfume.

I looked around to see who it could be that smelled so pretty, wanting to ask them what it was.

There was nobody nearby.

I figured whoever it was must have doused themselves for me to be able to pick up their scent, so far was I from other shoppers.

I walked on, looking at my list and grabbing more needed items.

The soothing aroma, flowery, candyish, and slightly citrusy, followed me and became even stronger.

I glanced at the floor to see if someone had dropped a bottle of perfume somewhere.

Then I sniffed my grocery list.

Mmmmmm!

I remembered that a couple days earlier, in a local pharmacy, I had sprayed a tester of  “Meow” eau de parfum by Katy Perry on a sample card, and put it into the back pocket of the jeans I had been wearing, with that same list nestled next to it.  I had wished to take some time to consider whether or not I really wanted to spend $60 on something beautiful that made me feel good but which I didn’t need.

I blame/credit my Serbian heritage for this frugality.

But being followed by perfume that made me swoon?  Maybe it’s a sign that it’s the right thing to do.

What do YOU think?

meow

See the next blog entry, which goes with this:

Today’s Twisted Gratitudes

Today I am grateful for:

1.  The dryer in my laundry room, which not only dries our laundry, but today it performed the job of masking the sobs that wrenched from my beaten down heart so the rest of my family didn’t have to hear me cry.
2.  Long sleeves on my shirts to wipe my tears.
3.  Supportive friends in the groups for highly sensitive people where I find a bit of solace.
4.  This blog, where I can let a little bit of my pain bleed out.
5.  My faith that heaven is my final destination.

Come, Lord Jesus.  Quickly.  Please.

Handel Wrote Messiah in a 24-Day Manic Episode

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While talking with my counselor today (yes, she meets with clients in her home office on weekends, and that’s the only way I can fit it in, so it works perfectly for me), we discussed PTSD, anxiety, and bipolar disorder.

I may have all three of those, and so I will be talking to a psychiatrist to find out for sure.

I was impressed to hear from my counselor that Handel wrote “Messiah” during a 24-day manic phase.

Impressed, but not at all surprised.

Knowing what I myself can do in a … in a … OK, I’ll say it … “MANIC PHASE” … if that is what I have … I can totally imagine such an exquisite compilation of music being created in that space of time.

I once wrote an elaborate song for a friend, based on one sentence he wrote. He was speechless that I did it in the space of an afternoon.

Actually, it wasn’t even “an afternoon” – I banged it out in less than an hour.

Anyway, I hope someone else enjoys Handel’s Messiah as they stumble across it in my blog. I am listening to it in my headset right now, while working on some weekly home school reports I need to submit to the school where a couple of my sons are enrolled. The music blocks out the sound of the TV, which my husband is watching in the next room. I hate TV. I chalk that up to my high sensitivity.

I don’t think I’ve ever asked a question before in my blogging, having thus far blogged more for my own sanity than for communication —  although, I do love it when people leave comments — but I will throw a few questions out now for whatever they are worth, and I hope you will answer at least one (but the more, the merrier):

1. Did you read this whole thing?
2. What brought you here?
3. Do you like Handel’s Messiah?
4. Has anything I have written today resonated with you in any way?

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

When Similar Stuff Happens

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Another of those weird but cool things happened to me today.  There’s got to be a name for it, and I’m calling it “intuation” unless another word can be found.

Today, out of the blue, this song popped into my head, “Don’t know much about history, don’t know much about geography…”

I looked up the lyrics and found that it’s called “Wonderful World” by Sam Cooke.

I wondered if I could find the scene from the movie “Witness” I had seen decades ago…

Aha!  There it was on YouTube — that one I posted above in this blog.  (I said that mostly for the people who are receiving notifications by email).

I looked up the lyrics and guitar chords, as I do for a lot of songs that pop into my head.  It seemed simple enough for my limited skills, so I printed it out.

Later, my almost-16-year-old daughter, who I’ll call “S”, was in the basement with a guitar.  She started learning the instrument in school a few days ago and is gung-ho about it, practicing every minute she can get.

I brought my two latest printouts into the basement and lay them on the bed.  Idly chatting with S, I strummed the chords for “Dance Me To The End Of Love”.

I glanced at the 3-ring binder that was open to the song, “Wonderful World”.

I didn’t remember putting that song into a binder.

Confused, I said, “S, is this yours?”

“Yeah, Mom.  It’s one of the songs we’re learning at school.”

I picked up my own two papers I’d had on the bed and looked to make sure my copy of that same song was really there.

“No way,”  I said.  “Look at THIS!  I just printed this out today.  I’d not even thought of this song in YEARS and now here you’ve got it???  Woah, that’s SO weird.”

We weirded out over it for awhile, and then we played and sang it together.

I love it when intuation takes place.  I intuate a lot.

Related posts:
Thinking About Something And Then It Happens

Remembering a happier me

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For several weeks, due to various circumstances, I had been in a deep, dark depression, which started to lift a few days ago.

I am not sure what caused it to lift.

It could have been because of the prayers of friends.

It could have been because of the remedy given to me by my homeopath on January 18 starting to work.

It could be the various supplements from my naturopath, which I started on January 11, to get me on the road to healing from adrenal burnout, kicking in.

It could have been because of answers to unspoken questions in my tormented heart finally being answered from within the confines of silence.

It could be a combination of all of the above, or it could be something I haven’t even guessed.

Up until a few days ago, I didn’t care if I lived.

Now, however, I feel like I want to get better.

I am not sure how far this seed of hope will grow, but for now, I am grateful it is growing.

This video is from May or June of 2011.  I hope I can someday be that happy on a regular basis.