There is a dark wall of forest around my heart.
The trees are tall, evergreen, angry, with needled fingers pointing while I cry on the ground.
Some say they love me but their words demand that I follow only their rules.
One berates me because I am friends with her mother, whom she hates.
Another hates me because I don’t like the same music as he.
Still another hates me because I remained in contact with her ex, a man who was my friend before I knew her.
Two more cut me out of their lives because I left a man who was my husband, with whom, they opine, I should have stayed. I regarded one as a father of sorts. He has departed this realm. Now the mind of the other, his wife, has left her aging body.
One especially was close to my heart. We talked almost daily. We shared meals, music, laughs, tears, secrets… Life.
Many more stand in the shadows, regardng me with disdain so deep, my attempts to reconcile are lost in their darkness.
Their roots whisper, “Remember when we used to talk? We laughed together many a time. We trusted each other with deep thoughts. We bounced ideas around. I knew you cared. You were always there. For me. But I remain as I was – not there for you.”
Scars are scribed where their branches had grown so closely into my life, they grafted in. When they pulled their arms away, it left open wounds.
I never cut them off myself. My arms still reach out, though with more caution: “Will you ever return?”
The wall of this forest blurs my outlook. Covered by the past, I am hidden from the future.
My yellowed leaves fall to the dirt like the friends who did forsake me.
As the wall of trees looks down on me, my figurative tears dilute their shadows and turn them to mud. I care less.
But, given time, light, and water – the water of love – I will grow back. Alone on the surface perhaps; damaged; spent; and even physically demolished, but never forsaken by the One who provides life eternal – Jesus Christ, the Son of God.