Life Learner

Gold at the end of the rainbow

I’ve been moving away from the word “unschooling”. I’m just not comfortable with terming our learning as something containing the word “school”. Too often, society has the assumption that school is THE place where learning happens, and I know that isn’t true.

I’m not sure what title to give us, really, but “life learners” seems accurate. Aren’t we all learning in life? 🙂

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Write as if no one will read it

I write these blog entries with the assumption that nobody will read them.

I hear it in my mind in Kathy Mattea’s voice when she sang, “You got to sing like you don’t need the money… Love like you’ll never get hurt… You’ve got to dance, dance, dance, like nobody’s watching… It’s gotta come from the heart if you want it to work.”

You got to write, write, write, like nobody’s reading…

And then when you learn that somebody read it, if you did it well, you might find that the feeling is that of comfort.

Several years ago, when I was new to blogging, a niece, who was in her early teens at the time, said, “I like it when you write from the heart. You should write more of that.”

I think that’s good advice.

I’ve always felt best about writing from the heart, that is, writing without worrying how it will be taken. I do sometimes have to carefully choose my words so they don’t get misundertsood by certain people who have proven a tendency to twist my meaning, but more often than not, I just let it flow.

I know there is a risk that someone will read my words.You are reading them right now. And there is a list of people who purposely follow my blog, although that doesn’t necessarily mean they will read each entry.

But people stumble across my writing in other ways, too.

When I was 18, I was at the family home of the guy who ended up becoming my first husband. A friend of his grabbed my purse and opened it, saying, “Whatcha got in here?”

He took out my journal and I gave a mild protest, like, “Oh, no… don’t read that.”

But I didn’t really want him to not read it. He read it out loud, at first as though he was mocking me, but he kept reading long after a few sentences. And I was glad. I just sat there and smiled smugly, like, “Ha. Go ahead and read. I have nothing to hide, and I’m glad you’re enjoying the ride.”

Somebody once told me, “Don’t write anything that you wouldn’t want to be seen by the whole world if it fell into the wrong hands.”

I’ve written things I didn’t want anyone else to see, and they did fall into the wrong hands, but that was before I learned that advice.

Sometimes people surprise me and say something to the effect of having read what I wrote in my blog entries or elsewhere on the internet. It’s a comfortable feeling of having unknowingly invited someone into my pointless little world, and finding that something I said stuck in their mind.

How about you? Can you relate to any of this? I’d love to hear how you feel about the production of your own writing. Leave a comment below, if you can find the elusive comment box, or otherwise connect with me.

(Kathy Mattea’s video: “Come From The Heart”)

A Beautiful Mind

I had the most amazing dream last night.  Well, it was amazing to ME.

I dreamed that I was in a place of business on Tyee Road in Point Roberts, Washington.  It was a small building in which I had never been before and which probably doesn’t exist outside the dream.  In retrospect, it might have been a small art gallery.

On the wall above a table were large posters like horizontal navigation maps.  They had symbols on them that seemed to make no sense.

I announced to the people around me, “Hey, I can see the patterns in those posters just like the guy in the movie A Beautiful Mind!”

Some people tried to see what I was seeing.  Others just kinda looked at me sideways like “Uh…okaaay…whatever.”

If I looked at the poster as a whole, I couldn’t see the pattern.  When I looked with my eyes narrowed and my head tilted back a bit, the shapes in the patterns showed themselves in 3D whereas the rest of the images remained 2D.

There might be some meaning in this, or it might just be random disconnected thoughts.

If there is a meaning, I’m going to venture a guess that it is to say if you haven’t been there, you really have no idea how or why the person who experienced what they lived has impacted them.

Furthermore, looking at what you see in total cannot be understood until you see each fine detail, and see them in their proper order.

(I originally published this in facebook Notes on February 11, 2011.)

The Little Things

So tired, as always with this adrenal burnout, I had to go to the couch and crash this afternoon.

I fell asleep to the sound of my eighteen-year-old daughter folding towels and sheets on the floor nearby.

I woke up twenty minutes later to see neatly folded piles of clean laundry in baskets by the couch.

I nearly cried with gratefulness.

She seldom does such things.

As grateful as I am for the good little things in my life, so oppositely overwhelmed am I by the numerous bad little things.

Too many little bad things piled up together look like a big bad thing.

In the face of the mountain of bad things, the good things look so awesomely wonderful.

Although probably not what it is intended to mean, I suddenly think of Newton’s law of motion:  “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

Not thinking too much

By the standards of some people, I think too much.

Sometimes I don’t want to think too much.

Sometimes it helps to put music on in the background of my headset while I am working at transcribing medical reports for doctors.  I turn the volume down low for the music so I can still clearly hear the dictation.

Right now, I am listening to the entire album “Pablo Honey” by Radiohead.

I wonder if anyone can relate to just not wanting to think too much.

Music helps.

Sometimes I just have to post

Sometimes I just have to post.

I have three blogs now – this one here at WordPress, the other Holy Sheepdip at Blogger, and a mostly private one on Tumblr.

Mostly I make private posts on Tumblr, which is kind of a holding place where I ramble out my thoughts about whatever needs rambling.  Occasionally I take some of that rambling and make it into a blog post over at Blogger.

Maybe I’ll do a bit more blogging here.  Who knows.