All These Drafts!

I have 74 drafts sitting here in WordPress.

Seventy-four posts drafted and waiting to find out when – or even if – they will be published.

That seems like so many, but I don’t know how many other bloggers might have. I have nothing to which I can compare.

Sometimes I grab one of those drafts, polish it off, and publish it, even though it may have been started a year or more ago.

If you are willing to share your secret number of current drafts, I am willing to hear about it right here in the comments. Eh? Whadda ya say?


Deviants Going Overboard

I took a peek on Facebook and was instantly reconfirmed in my stance on wanting nothing to do with it. What I saw was a post from my local newspaper announcing a special Canadian coin has been minted for those who choose to act upon their sexual perversions and gender deviations.

When will the folly end?

Will there next be a coin to commemorate murder?

How about a coin for rapists?

A coin for liars? For drunkards? For the covetous?

A coin for sinners in general? Oh, wait, that’s called currency and the whole world has it.

Seriously, though, this glorification of sin has gone too far. The blindness is heartbreaking.

You Are Not Useless


save on foods

Sunset over Save On Foods in downtown Prince George, BC – Sat Apr 20, 2019


A friend of mine often calls himself useless. It hurts me to hear him be so hateful about himself. How it must hurt God, who loves him so much that He sent His only son to pay the price to clear him of being born into a death sentence to a worse location than any miserable situation on this earth.

How do I know God loves him? Because the Bible tells me so. It’s more than just a children’s song that says “Jesus loves me, this I know – for the Bible tells me so.” It’s truth and it runs deep and wide throughout the Bible.

And how do I know the Bible is true?

One thing that convinces me is prophecy’s accuracy. I don’t want my blog posts to be too long, so here are a couple of jumping-off points if you would like to dig into this topic more:

But back to my friend. He thinks I live in some kind of paradise on earth, compared to the part of the world in which he resides. He is so ashamed of where he lives, he posts on social media with words and pictures to suggest to his readers he lives elsewhere.

I told him today that we have our struggles here, just like anywhere else on this fallen earth.

It’s hard to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves.

“…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” (Philippians 4:11)

Those words were penned by a man named Paul who was in prison when he wrote them. If he could find contentment because of the knowledge of God’s love, then so can I, though many a time I still complain. I need to work on that.

God can use us anywhere, in ways we might not even realize.

Yesterday, I don’t know but maybe God used me to comfort someone. I was in Save On Foods, a big grocery chain in BC, in Prince George. After I paid for my items, the cashier said, “Happy Easter.”

I smiled at her and said, “Happy Resurrection Day!”

The look on her face spoke to me of appreciation. Maybe she was glad to hear someone else out there who shares her faith? Maybe she didn’t have this faith yet and is now still thinking about the meaning of someone saying “happy Resurrection Day!” Maybe someone else overheard my words and set a train of thoughts in action for them.

Little things like this matter.

We matter.

God didn’t just make one person to do everything. He made this whole pile of humans. He made you.

I believe there is a use for you, reader. I hope you don’t think you are useless. We don’t know how useful we might be to those we encounter. Maybe the listening ear that you provide to one soul is the only good thing that has happened for that person that day, to keep them hanging on until they help someone else, or maybe till they turn to Jesus . Maybe the words you write will resonate in a way that you could not foresee and lead someone to look up something else that comes to mind. Who knows.

But we have a purpose. God loves us enough to have sent His son for us. That tells me we are important to Him.

WordPress “Stats”?

On my blog Dashboard, I click on Stats, then Top Posts & Pages. It shows me a list of the posts on my site that got the most traffic. Strangely, there are items that it lists as having only one view, yet there are several “likes” and comments for that post.

This makes no sense to me. I don’t even know what to ask, let alone who to ask. I have other problems with WordPress, and I’ve posted them in a WordPress support forum, but so far I’ve not gotten any solutions.

Are there any actual WordPress gurus out there who know how to use this site and how to fix problems, or is it all run by users who are in the process of figuring it out themselves?

Death Comes A-Knocking

Death comes knocking on everybody’s door sooner or later. Be prepared to answer with “YES! Jesus Christ already paid the price for me and HALLELUJAH I am going to be with Him forever!”

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

(Romans 10:9, KJV)

Intentionally Incomplete?

“Take you a glass of water

Make it against the law.

See how good the water tastes
When you can’t have any at all”

-Creedence Clearwater Revival, “Bootleg”

. . . . .

How universal is it to desire that which you do not possess?

Is it in every human heart to admire beauty, overtly or covertly, regardless of how much one already has?

Is it an empty space of longing that was allowed with a purpose, ready to be fulfilled in a dimension where jealousy, pain, and offense of all kinds are nonexistent, and peace, joy, and love are rampant?

Is desire a prerequisite to fulfillment that will only come when we are in perfected bodies, not decaying, not breaking, able to handle the weight of holding everything we could want, sinless, selfless, and furthermore having the capacity to enjoy it to the fullest?

Meanwhile, we live in a state of not fully living, and we continue to die.


Too much gravity to fly, yet not enough gravity to be held down.

Swimming in the lusts of our flesh.

Sometimes caving in and regretting, sometimes walking away and regretting, and sometimes feeling temporarily satisfied.

We admire, desire, and crave.

Those eyes, that hair, those arms, that mind, that car, that truck, those shoes, the sun, the heat, houses, land, gadgets, tools, travel, companionship, intimacy…

We steal, we kill, we destroy.

It’s not just me.

I don’t want it to be!

So universal.

We thirst.

And we continue to thirst.

Then, sometimes, when we get what we want, we find that it wasn’t as perfect as it seemed.

Temporary ecstasy amidst temporary pain, not willing to endure the strain.

Almost living, always slowly dying.

Always – intentionally, really – incomplete…

All 7 Kids Photo Attempt

Lest I send the wrong message by my recent posts, which have been written while being overworked, overstressed, and in a pain attack driven by fibromyalgia’s inexplicable force, here is a video clip that demonstrates a typical time of all seven of my kids being in one room together. We really do enjoy each other’s presence, all in our individual weird ways.

I don’t want it to be misconstrued that I in any way resent my children, especially if I were to suddenly die and I eventually have grandchildren who don’t get to know me personally and their own parents suddenly die before those grandkids are old enough to hear stories about us all…

(Yeah, yeah, a writer’s mind is an overthinking mind.)

This video is from a few months ago.

Listen for the metallic “bonk” sound as one of my kids taps the head of another with his insulated water bottle.

Problem Of Pain

Migraine, or whatever it is, hurts so bad that nausea sweeps in.

Five days of it, every three to five weeks, for, what, twenty years now?

Family physicians, a neurologist, naturopaths, a homeopath, chiropractors, massage therapists, and a physiotherapist all failed to fix.

CBD oil prescription is expensive and doesn’t fix. It helps minimally. THCa oil in acute attacks does the same.

Hospital emergency rooms in desperate moments is a gamble. Triage. Wait a long time. Downtime from duties. Need someone to do the drive home. Get shot with something that sometimes works. Demerol worked once, but when requested the next time, it was refused. Morphine took the edge off and allowed sleep, but the pain returned by morning. Ketorolac 60 mg injected with Gravol to combat the nausea it can cause works 80% of the time.

Face-first into a wall in 1988. Unknown whiplash unhealed. Spine grown twisted. Escaped from perpetrator.

Now add in the pain from being knocked over by a dog. Twice. Back of skull first day. Then knee next day.

Monday: Liquid nitrogen to plantar surface of left foot for wart. Burns.

Tuesday: Cleaning the kitchen because foot too sore Monday to clean before bed. Stuffing and baking a turkey. Many hours. Remove stuffing and refrigerate. When turkey cools, remove meat from bones and refrigerate. Put drippings in container to use for gravy. Too late at night to make gravy. Make it tomorrow.

Wednesday: Many processes to prepare for making turkey pies. Grind wheat outside in grain grinder because it leaks flour. Thank God for grinder given by friend. Good grinder is mailed to Vancouver Island shop under warranty.

Make turkey bone broth. All day.

Clean, clean, clean. Laundry. Floor. Cat litter boxes. Delegate but only so much kids can do. Listen to kids. Answer kids. Interact with kids. Pray for kids. Dishes in dishwasher, plus ongoing big pots and bowls washed in sink. Fold and put away laundry. Declutter stuff in ongoing decluttering after new bedroom carpet installed.

Thursday: Whole wheat olive oil pie crusts x6.


Chopped carrots, celery, onions. Sauteed.

Other things unremembered. Many. Too many. Tears in there a time or two. Mine.

Thursday night, now: Suddenly realize forgot to let dog back in house. Oldest daughter to the rescue, brings her in. Long past bedtime.

Brain is gone. Somehow over three days of cooking, this is result:


Stuffing from homemade bread

Gravy for turkey pies

Three turkey pies

Vietnamese spring rolls

Turkey soup

So much rice.

Onions were absent so they had to be bought this morning.

Family ate filling for turkey pies when it wasn’t yet done so had to stretch it by thawing Italian sausage from freezer and browning it… then driving to store to buy potatoes to cook and add.

Big pots to wash in sink. Sore hands from so much washing.

Phone calls I cannot return, added to list.

Deadlines for forms that needed to be filled.

People to contact via text and email. None for pleasure. Business and stress.

Dear friend in distress. Suicidal. Fear. Prayer.

Dear friend’s father had a seizure and in hospital. Prayer.

Noises in house.

Kids doing what told not to.

Me yelling.


Ringing sound. High pitch ringing that permeates the room. Source unknown.

. . . . . .

See also: Giving Up